SAY NO TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

SAY NO TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: THE MAN WHO LEARN THE HARD WAY

"Even goats can bite when pushed to the wall"- 'Yoruba Proverb.

I have come again with this funny story to prevent men from laying hands on women. I promise you will all have a good laugh. If you do not laugh, don't read anything I write again!:

There was a short-tempered man who always beat up his wife at every slight provocation. He had literally turned her into a punching bag. She would cry endlessly after each round of merciless beating and sustain several degrees of avoidable injury. She would sometimes wear dark sun-shades and tie scarf to conceal the numerous scars on her face and her swollen head. She was so quiet, unassuming and loving that she never reports the domestic brawl and incessant beating to her parents, his husband's parents, neighbours who normally overhear their periodic fights or even his or her 'nosy' friends. She would even cover up his unbecoming violent acts by saying she fell from the staircase, had a fatal domestic accident or even mistakenly collided with the wall in the midst of bleak darkness at night. It doesn't matter whether she looks as though she was crushed by a trailer on top speed or appear to have fought a Lion! She then thought and resolved vehemently within herself to stop this constant pummelling someday soon before her wicked, heartless and unchanging husband would send her to her early grave.

One fateful day, she served him food and a Jar of water but did not bring him the glass cup on time. After a few exchange of tough words from him, he landed her a very dirty, blistering hot, unprovoked and resounding slap. She saw a million stars and her cheeks shone like expensive diamonds. Her eyes became dizzy and every image appeared blurry. Her husband looked like five people in her hazy view. She became infuriated and moved towards him. She momentarily grabbed his groin with so much energy. His face was expressionless and revealed shock and astonishment. He couldn't beg for mercy or weep as a 'big man'. He started grunting and bleating like a starving goat. He was too dazed to respond. He opened his mouth wide ajar, gulped a volume of air and could not mutter any word. His head alone started sweating like a chilled bottle of coke.

He suddenly screamed on the highest pitch of his newly found voice. The more he appealed to her, the more pressure she applied on the held area. He said: 'Darling please, you are pressing those 'balls' too hard and holding my 'wired bush' with the 'device', (O ti bu'run mo), its really painful . She responded: 'I know, I want it to pain you severely, you wicked man'. He tried to free himself to no avail as she would not let go of the grip. She started 'remote controlling' him and he moved at her pace. She used the groin to pull him around the sitting room area. If she moves backwards, he follows her and when she moves forward, he followed her obediently. He held his stomach as he felt excruciating pains in his tummy. His eyes were very red. His eyeballs started to rigmarole in its socket and his gaze perambulated the space without focus. He promised never to lay his hands on her again but she would have none of it. He said he was even willing to sign his own death warrant and transfer his savings up to the last penny to her in other to regain his freedom but she would not be consoled. He asked her what she wanted but she kept mute. He called her 'Aunty', 'Mummy', 'Uncle' and 'Daddy' but she remained adamant. She rolled, squeezed and spinned it with all her strength to teach him a lesson in cruelty. The twenty minutes within which his 'John calypso' was in the captivity of the infuriated grip of her hands were like eternity. He went down on his knees after the unforgettable encounter. He was later admitted in the hospital where he was on admission for 4 weeks. He didn't experience erection for 9 months afterwards due to the damage caused. He has since stopped laying his hands on women or anything feminine; not even a 'She-goat'.

'Tosin Ayo,